Quotes

It's kind of an amazing thing when you're with a writer. You see the joy in the human face, and not because of what they're writing, or the job of writing it, but the excitement that they're going to unveil a good reference or a good bit, kind of like a mad scientist rubbing his hands together and giggling: "If this monster works, I'm a genius, and if it fails, it's back to the drawing board." They're excited not about writing it, but about what the audience's reaction will be. It's kind of exciting that way for the writers. Writing itself is tedious. No one ever really enjoys writing until it's done. But you're excited to see people read it, excited to think, "Will they get it? Will they like this line?" It's line by line. It's just cool to watch how insane these guys are.

I talk to Lorne regularly about everything. He's the master. He's been through it all, man. He knows everything. I have to make appointments to see him, because I'll take to him for an hour if I can. I mean, it's like, "All right, my next issue is this: I'm getting an apartment." And he'll say, "Well, I think you should." Whatever it is, he'll give me advice on it. He's just really great. That's the guy I go to for an answer. He doesn't beat around the bush. He gives you an answer and he takes away all the stress.

I'm not reading anything cool. I'm not reading any scripts that I enjoy. Everyone wants me to do a goofball comedy where it's like high concept - I get like robot feet or something. It's ridiculous like that. I could be a millionaire, yeah, easily, but I'd rather have peace of mind than a paycheck. I could drive myself crazy just thinking about it. My new move is I just might try dramatic parts until I find the right comedy or until I get off the show. You know - keep learning with really good directors and learn how to act and then - then I'll just be unstoppable when I'm off the show, because I know I can do that too.

I never complain about anything. I could care less. The only complaint I have, which I hope it never gets to this point is I never want to get out there because I'm me and the piece is in front of me and it's like, "We need to put Jimmy in the show." Because they do that sometimes. Like, "We've got to put Molly in the show." I never want to be that guy. I don't want to do crap. I don't want people seeing me do a bad piece. If it doesn't work, then cut it. You have to think of what's going to work and is everyone happy. I'm one of the guys who's more for the show than for me.

May 18, 2002, marked the final show of SNL's 27th season. Winona Ryder was the host, using SNL as her "coming out" after being largely reclusive following an arrest for shoplifting. She had been a good soldier throughout the week of rehearsals; she didn't throw any fits, stage any walkouts, or complain about the sketches. It if weren’t for some whispers among the staff that she had set her sights on Jimmy Fallon, her hosting week would have been almost boring.

Mike Shoemaker is a producer, a writer, a therapist. He's the guy people complain to about not being in the show, or "Hey, can you get someone to write something for me?" They'll go to Shoemaker, because they're afraid to embarrass themselves and ask the writers. When you first get the how, he's the orientation guy. He helps all the new people get acquainted with the place. Sometimes he forces new writers to sit with a cast member and write something. He does it allot That's how I came up with "Jarret's Room," actually, the Internet talk show. I had this idea, he goes, "I'll put you with this new writer, Matt Murray; you sit in the room until you write it." We sat there for fours hours and we wrote it. The show needs Mike. Definitely. I don't know who else I would talk to. He's also a ghost writer, definitely, for "Update." He writes jokes, he punches stuff up. He's been there since Dennis Miller, I think. It’s like going to school. His comedy mind is great. I always go to him to bounce stuff off of him. He says, "Oh that's funny" or blah, blah, blah. Saturday mornings, he's always up there with me and Tina writing the jokes, picking what's funny and how to punch it up. Lorne will come out and say, "You milked it a little bit too long." Like, I asked him about the Ian McKellen thing, my reaction after he kissed me. I thought I milked it one beat too long. Lorne goes, "Yes, you did." Ian was more aggressive on the air than at dress, by the way. If you watch it in slow motion, you'll see a little tongue action. he really went for it, man. Anyway, I knew Lorne would tell me the truth, but Shoemaker said, "That was fine. It really worked." He's just always very positive.

I'm the same age as the show. When I saw it, I was like seven or eight years old. My parents used to tape it and show me and my sister only the "clean" sketches. The others were too risqué for us, so we couldn't watch the whole thing. They were good censors, because we thought it was a treat just to see anything funny, especially Mr. Bill. I don't know why, but "Wild and Crazy Guys" was our favorite. It was risqué, but we didn't realize as kids what things like birth control devices or tight bulges meant. We were just little kids. We used to perform the sketches at parties, and relatives would be like, "You let your kids say this?" But I had no idea what it meant.

Originally, I didn't even want to do "Update". Honestly, when they asked me if I wanted do it, I had no idea about the news or anything. I don't read. I read USA Today; that's the only thing I read, because it's got colored pictures and stuff. Now I find out the news thought setups we do for jokes. I said "Update" wasn't my bag and didn't want to do it at al. And then Lorne kind of talked me into it. And I sad, "The only way I'm going to do it is to do it with two people, because I don't want it to be The Jimmy Fallon Thing." So we look back at the auditions - because a lot of the cast auditioned to be "Update" host - and Tina Fey's was awesome. It was great. They were going to hire some otter dude, but she was just so cute and so awesome, it was unbelievable. And she had a point of view that I hadn't seen on "Update." So I thought it would be really cool if we both did it, and like immediately Lorne loved it. He knew it right there. He said, yes, definitely: "Tina's going to be smart, brainy girl, and you're going to be the kind of goofy guy that doesn't do his homework and asks her for answers and stuff." You know, Lorne is brilliant with that stuff. So it was like, "Okay, I like that."

We did a test with just me, Tina, the cameramen, a director, and Lorne. And after one take, he would come out with, "Okay, relax a little bit more." And, "I like Tina on this side and Jim on this side." Lorne said, "What we'll do is, we'll do it until Christmas, because it takes a long time to get into it, and if you hate it or it's not working, we can find someone else." After the first "Update," I was so stressed. When it was over with, I thanked Lorne. I was like, "This is the coolest thing ever." It's such a rush, man. Because I'm wearing a suit, for God's sakes. I don't have any suits! I don't! I've got to wear suits now. So I wear suits and talk about the White House and all that stuff. It's cool. Then De Niro came on. It's just fun. It's absolutely fun. I'm peaking soon. its got to peak, because otherwise I'll go insane, and then where are you?

The way I look at it is, it's mine and Tina's little six-minute thing. It's a theater show. If I want to talk to the audience, I'm going to. One time, the applause sign didn't go on. And it was just dead air. And I was like, "Did they not press the applause button? What's the deal?" Meanwhile, on the cue card it says, "Thank you, everybody." So I am not going to read the card and say, "Thank you, everybody," if no one clapped. Thanks for what? So instead I just said, "Thanks Tina - and no one else, apparently."

I'm 27 and I look 30. Because I don't sleep anymore. I feel like I'm getting older fast. That's one thing they don't tell you about the job. You hear stories from other cast members, like, "Hey man, good luck. Hang in there, 'cause this place will kill you. One time I got so angry that I threw a phone out the window." And I'm thinking, I'd have to be mad at a phone company or the phone company or the phone or something to throw a phone out the window? I think I'm more humble than that. I'm like, "At least I have a phone!" What made anyone that angry that they got that mad?

I got all these zits on my face, as you can see; I've broken out from lack of sleep. It's tiring. It's just so tiring. Man oh man.

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